A Series on Fear - Part 3: Remaining Present and Hopeful

Dear Friends, 

This is the third part of our series on fear. You can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here. 

This week we are focusing on the fearful thoughts that hide in the ‘future’, and we are asking - how do we differentiate hope from fear? 

Let us say that I have an interview and test for a new job. I really want this job as I believe it will provide me with some great experience and learning opportunities. In one scenario I spend my time preparing for the interview - making sure all my responses to possible questions are clear and succinct without missing the important points I want to pass along. I practice sample technical tests, and in those acts of preparation, my hope for getting that job manifests. 

Another situation that could occur is that I become worried about the interview - I will not be good enough, I won’t be able to pass the test - so I avoid proper preparation and instead ‘prepare’ in a way that is not productive. I imagine what the boss will be like and start imagining a stressful or troublesome person - "oh how will I cope?!”. Or I envision how my office will be set up, and the nice or difficult colleagues that might be sitting next to me. I google all the apartments in the new city in which the job is based. I do all those things, fuelling my imagination and building a picture of what I ‘hope’ will be, without actually doing any preparation for the test.

Some people would describe the above as being hopeful, but it is not. It is being fearful.

FEAR IS THAT WHICH DISTRACTS YOU FROM MOVING FORWARD.

If you think about it clearly. What use is it imagining what the office will be like when I can simply wait for the interview to find out myself? What is the point of imagining what the boss will be like when I am more likely to be wrong about this person’s personality than not? How will either of these things (and all the things we use to distract ourselves under the guise of ‘hopes and dreams’) help me in presenting myself as someone that will be a great candidate for the job?

Fear inspires a lack of focus. It gives you excuses and distractions from using the time on your hands now, to move forward to the place you want to be. True, you may find out that what you desired is not really what it seems, but then you know that it is real - it is not something you have made up in your head based on an incomplete perspective or false judgement. And you feel less disappointment because you didn’t waste too much time building castles in your head.

There is a type of future-based thinking that is unproductive, and those are the types of thoughts that are inspired by fear.  They make you feel powerful and in control. In reality, you have zero control because you have moved from the present, to a future time and place that do not exist. We cannot control what does not exist. Furthermore, none of your actions are geared towards calling forth what you want, because all your efforts are being used to imagine scenarios.

What is more useful, is to ask yourself this question - what is it that is needed from me that I do not have now, but will be useful for me when I get to be in that position that I so desire? Say you are looking for a spouse, you have to ask yourself - what qualities will make me a good partner? Let me start building those qualities now in my current relationships with friends and family members. If you want a particular job - what skills will make me an asset to my dream organisation, let me work on building those skills now, and ensuring that I can display them to those that will need my expertise. So, you take on projects, you find needs and address them, and learn from those experiences. Whatever it is you want, try not to fall into the temptation of imagining what it will be like when you find that right job or person or position or thing. Instead use the time now to become the best person to get those things. Remember, prayer is a combination of your thoughts, words and actions towards that which you want.  

Be aware that most situations likely will not always turn out as you had hoped, but that is how life is, and it is perfectly alright. What you will begin to notice, is that those acts will have prepared you for those things that do turn up, and those doors that will open before you. 

AN ANTIDOTE FOR FEAR IS FOCUS. 

Focus on the present. I am here now. What is it I can do here and now? Asking yourself this question does not mean you do not desire differently for yourself, but it helps you to focus your energy on getting those things that you desire by using what you have.

However, if you are not focused, you might just begin to think about how your life isn’t what you want or how much you don’t have what you need etc. This is neither helpful nor useful.

We create the future with our present actions. If we find that we are spending a lot of time imagining future scenarios, without actually doing any ground work to support those dreams, that is fear in action, and we can stamp that out by focusing on doing what we can now and making things happen with what we have in our possession today.

Careful not to get lost in the daydreams, and remember that your future is now.

What does it look like?

Love,

O.F.P.