A Series on Fear - Part 2: How do I remain present and still learn from the past?

Hello Friends!

Happy New Month!

And to those observing lent in one way or the other this year, I hope it is going well so far for you.

Continuing our discussion on fear ( you can read part 1 here ), we talk about the past and how it relates to fear, or a lack thereof.

In the last post we established that one of the ways to recognise fear is by noticing when our minds have drifted to a different time and place from where we are in the present. An example of this is when our minds wander to past events.

We are a product of all that has come before. So, in defining fear in this way, it is not to say that we cannot use our past experiences to help us move forward. In fact, God speaks to us most clearly through our experiences. So, we definitely need to be reflective and hear what the universe is saying to us.

I believe the way to learn from the past, without involving fear, is by trying, as much as we can, to remove judgement, and focus, as much as possible, on the truth being revealed to us. This also means refraining from letting ourselves be solely defined by what has happened to us or the things we have done.

THE PAST IS ONLY A PART OF YOU; IT IS NOT YOUR ENTIRE SELF.

What does it mean to remove judgement? Not identifying with the event and letting that make you say - I am good or bad; or my life is good or bad. That is the fearful way of thinking because it completely ignores the power to create you have in the present.

Let me use myself as an example. In university, as I think I have mentioned before, I got A LOT of B minuses. They just made me so sad because that 2.7 grade point looked like such a heavy burden that was further dragging my already struggling GPA. Getting B minuses was a past event. However, I let it define me, and hold me back. I said to myself - my GPA is too low; I can’t apply for this role/get accepted into this program/do this job/ be a viable candidate.

Apart from letting that past event - the event of my “low” GPA - hold me back, I let it define who I was and what I was able to do forthwith, and it affected how I saw myself by blinding me to everything I could have been doing and all the ways I could have been growing. This is exactly how fear works.

What would be a more useful way to use past events in our lives? The previous paragraph is a good example. I recognised and acknowledged what I did wrong, and how it affected my life, and I moved on from it. I didn’t lament on how blind I had been or how many opportunities I had missed or held myself back from - that is remaining in the past. I owned up.

SO NOW, MY DUTY IS TO ASK - WHAT NOW? HOW DO I TAKE A STEP FORWARD?

It is important to apply the lessons from past events and learn more as we do so. In my case, apart from letting go of the irrelevant fact of my grades and realising their impact was quite small, especially when I used other ways to demonstrate my capabilities, I can also apply the lesson(s) I got from realising why I got those grades - I didn’t expect any better, and to do more, it is important to expect and demand more of yourself. It is important for me to be intentional and honest in keeping my aim high, and committing to doing what it takes to manifest my desires.

Using a fact from your past to hold you back is a manifestation of fear. Using the same occurrence (or its consequences) to propel you forward, is a way for you to show love to yourself.

You can use the past to help direct you, but you must keep moving forward. When you find you are remaining stagnant (not working towards anything), and the reason is tied to something that has happened before, it is most likely the fear holding you back.

Furthermore, society creates a lot of labels and we let those labels, even though they hold us back, define us. Oh, she hasn’t done this, she is lazy. Or he didn’t make that, he is slow. This is not what learning from the past looks like. This situation is closer to living in the fear that other people have generated for you.

So, watch your thoughts around past events and learn to ask yourself if the way you are thinking is giving you an opportunity to grow, or whether it is keeping you “safe and sound”, right where you are.

Remember, fear uses illusions to make you feel protected when really it is doing you the most damage.

·       What kinds of things from the past are holding you back?

·       Have you taken the time to identify the lessons or messages they carry to help you grow?

·       What reasons are you giving yourself for not going for it?

These are important questions to ask yourself.

Take the time to make sure that you are not letting the past hold you back under the guise of learning from it.

Love,

O.F.P.