Planting an Orchard
My Friends,
In the last two weeks I’ve been doing what I call a “kind” recruitment exercise, which I think I initially incorrectly referred to as training. It is closer to an approach to recruiting in which I’m acting as a prospective manager would, and giving feedback on the candidates work. Everybody is capable, most may not have had the opportunity to learn things earlier. Nigeria is a tough environment.
There are two individuals of my group of eight who are generally absent. One, understandably because he is working and the other - perhaps he just psyched himself out of it because it got too hard. I appreciate teachers now even more than I already did before, and I have learnt a lot from reflecting on my experiences with these candidates. Today, I want to share a lesson that was pointed out to me when I thought a bit more about the one who is absent because of work - let’s call him Soji (not his name).
So every other day I would have calls with the group, which Soji missed. I also took the time to set assignments and leave feedback, only one of which he partially completed, and submitted beyond his requested extension time. I think it is expected that people will struggle with time and need one form of slack or another. So I really didn’t have a problem with that. The issue is that he didn’t follow through even after asking for some slack, and missing the calls.
If he had just been absent like the other one, I wouldn’t have noticed him. But then he sends messages talking about the fact that he really wants this opportunity and is committed to doing what it takes. Although, his actions speak otherwise. In those moments, I try to be understanding because we never know what anyone is going through. So I don’t stop being responsive. On Saturday morning when I read another similar message, I realised that I could see something of myself in him, only I was seeing myself from the perspective of all the opportunities and resources that I have been given and want to use, but don’t.
How many times have I said to God that I want something ? How many times has He answered me with multiple opportunities and the ability to get that thing ? How many times have I simply not used those things He has given me, ending up instead, going back to Him very sorry and talking again about how “I really want this.”
No matter how fertile the soil is. No matter how much rain falls to water it. No matter how much the sun shines to feed it. If you do not plant a seed, nothing will grow. And if you keep saying “I really want an orchard. Oh how nice it will be to have an orchard. Oh when I have that orchard.” Without planting the seeds that have been freely given to you to make that orchard a reality, it will continue to remain in the words from your mouth and the thoughts in your head. Action, concerted, focused action and effort are always required.
We always think about people in the bible and go - WOW what a miracle. But the miracle was not just in their choice to obey God, but in their actual obedience to Him by following through with action. Moses could have kept insisting that his stutter will get in the way of leading the Israelites out of Egypt. Abraham could have plainly refused to leave his home and go to a strange unknown place. And so on the list goes. But they didn’t.
It is not enough to want something with all your heart. It is not enough at all. You have to be strong and say: “I’m going to play my part and plant the seed, even as I am trusting that God will do the rest with the things over which I have no control.” You can not just think and talk. You have to be.
Being is something I’ve been running away from. I do some things, but those are things that make me accountable to other people. I know in my heart of hearts that they do not count as much, because in those actions, I am not being. I am not planting the seeds for my desired orchard. In the process of being consciously accountable to myself, I am finding it so difficult to plant and water seeds for my orchard. I slowly fill up my time by committing to things that are okay to do but are not the core things I desire for myself and want to be working on. I am not being myself. And that’s all on me.
Reading those messages from that guy Soji, just made me realise how ridiculous I must sound to God. Asking Him for the same things all the time when He has answered me every time. I just realised how unserious I must look. And while God is not man, merciful, and loves me a lot, I know that, for my own growth and benefit, there are some things He will absolutely wait for me to begin on my own before interceding any further.
So what is the way forward ? I know I have to plant the seed. We all know that. It is deep in our hearts. The problem is that we are afraid of following through. Nonetheless, the first thing, as I have said multiple times, is being kind to myself, and shedding the inner voice that only sees bad and only says “not enough”. Then, in that place of kindness, I hold my hand and say “Okay Oladoyin, let’s go plant this seed. It’s a new day and there is a new seed to plant”. Sometimes it works and I go and plant my seed for the day. Sometimes it doesn’t but I try to hold on to the kindness, because I have come to learn that some days are not good days for planting, and there is honour in listening to that part of me that says, “let us just be still today.”
This kindness is not a one-time affair. It is a moment, to moment one, until the the orchard is there before my very eyes, and I can then sit comfortably in a hammock enjoying the sight of it... well, until I feel the desire to add another tree.
It is not enough to want. It is not enough to say it. It is not enough to imagine it. You have to plant the seed. It’s the only way you will see your orchard grow.
Try to plant or water a single seed today. And whatever you do, listen, and remain kind to yourself.
Love,
OFP
p.s. Soji did end up submitting his final report, and I was glad that he did. That’s a seed he still ended up planting for himself. It is important to be kind and not get discouraged. You can still have what you want. Just be kind to yourself and don’t give up.