A Message

Dear Friends,

I genuinely hope you are all doing well and taking very good care of yourselves with good food, good rest and good people. I feel privileged to share my growth journey with you each week. In the last week, I have grown a lot, and I have experienced such grace and love from God in big and small ways, from conversations to realisations, and the knowledge I am having of myself. I hope that the things I have learnt about myself this week will help you, or someone you know, in some way.

 I start a lot of thoughts with “I can’t” or “I don’t want to”. At the very least, the doubt introduces itself with a “how will I?” I have been told, so many times - “it is not by your power”- and in the last few years I have struggled with that message because I have taken it to mean: “It is not  by your effort.” I did not understand how it could be possible that I can live a successful life without putting in any effort. It also just made me feel so powerless to do anything or bring about things for myself. However, that is not what I was being told. It has never been about the effort I put into my life, not really. It has always been about understanding that there is a power that crowns my efforts with success, and if I let it, directs that effort to the right places. It is not a message that was saying “do nothing because you are powerless.” Rather, one encouraging me to be all that I am, trusting that all my dreams and aspirations will manifest because I am one with God, whose words never return to Him unfulfilled. It was when I realised this, that I learnt, (finally uncle), the difference between being and doing. It is a subtle difference, and it is all about the things you are telling yourself in your mind.

Let me illustrate where I am going with a specific situation. I am establishing a path to scalability for Spurt! and I am starting my PhD at the School of Public and International Affairs at Princeton University. The biggest thoughts on my mind have been:

·       How am I going to do it all?

·       I don’t want to be a workaholic and be sleeping two hours a day

·       I don’t want to drop the ball

·       I have no clue what I am doing, how in the world did I manage to fool them etc

They are all negative statements, focusing on what I do not want, or who I don’t want to be or what I think I cannot do etc.

I have been telling myself, quietly, out loud, in my head – this is impossible – and because of these insidious thoughts, I have been living in fear, anxiety and insecurity, not quite getting God’s message to me – it is not by your power. However, Instead of wasting time rehashing all the ways I have held myself back, I want to move forward and apply the wisdom of that message.

God is saying to me:

 Oladoyin, don’t hold yourself back from wanting, being or doing any of the wonderful things you want to be to change your world. Let yourself define what success looks like with no limitations, and then, trust me.

 You won’t know how you managed to do it all, you will just see that you did.

You won’t know where you found the time, you will just know that you found it somehow.

Don’t forget that what and who you are, is a river that comes from me. Nobody can see or explain your source, but you keep being able to give precious value endlessly.

That is who you are.

 And so, when I remind you that it is not by your power, it is to remind you that a river just flows without worry about where it is coming from, where it is going, or how will it get there. It focuses on being a river, a resource for restoration, rejuvenation, relaxation, to other people. Leave the ‘how’ to ME. And just be that which you have been called to be.

What does this mean for me? It means that I will put in all the effort that I possibly can, certain that it will all be crowned with success. It means I ignore the thoughts that say “I can’t” and, just do it. Whether I can or not is irrelevant. The point is that I want it to be, so it will be.

In terms of being able to balance it all out. I am learning how to prioritise and focus. I am learning not to worry about the ‘when’ or the ‘how’, to focus on doing one thing at a time and doing it well. I am learning how to do things my way first, and then collaborating with others to benefit from the enhancement that comes with different perspectives. I am learning that as I am now, I have value. My perspective is valuable. My way is valuable. My approach is valuable. And if I don’t see that, then many people lose out, including me. I lose out the most - on the blessing attached to my being myself.

So I am taking one step at a time. I am remaining extremely determined, rejecting defeat, and I am seeing myself as I truly am - amazing.

 I invite you also to stop worrying about things because they seem impossible. The God who sent you to do them knew what He was doing. So, trust Him. And trust yourself, because you can, and you will.

Love,

OFP

p.s. shout out to my cousin Molara for helping me see in myself, the wonderful qualities of a river, whose source is from a Higher Place.