Refusing Defeat

Dear Friends,

When we look forward to all the possibilities life could throw at us, we tend to fear the worst ones. If we are not mindful, we will let that fear keep us stranded. The fear of the unknown.

Will I make it?

What if I fail?

What if I do not make money?

What if I have no friends?

What if I find it difficult?

… and so goes the list of the things we dread about the future. Why don’t we ever ask ourselves,

What if what I want comes my way?

What if everything is fine?

What if there are challenges, but I am able to overcome them all?

What if I become stronger as a result of those challenges?

The problem with what-ifs is that we hardly follow through with the question in a productive way. We just continue to worry or daydream, and stay stuck in the whirlwind of worry or the comfort of wishful thinking. So when we need to be decisive, we are not, because we are confused about what is real and what is merely a function of our very creative imagination.

It is true that things may go exactly as we feared, or that they may go exactly as we had hoped. We can hardly tell. It could go either way. So it is a waste of time trying to guess. Instead of being afraid, we have to develop a stubborn refusal to bend, and have a very firm hold on the notion that, when acting as our highest selves, the universe is ours to command.

Let’s talk a bit more about that.

A Stubborn Refusal to Bend

Defeat does not mean that you have been beaten. It means that you have given up. Nobody is passive in their defeat. It is a choice they have made. Difficult or not, we make the choice. When we say we feel defeated, the image that comes to our minds is one of being beaten down by something. In that image, we often completely remove the option of our trying to get up. It looks like - “ I have been knocked out (fullstop).” That perspective is misleading, because it absolves us of our responsibility for our lives - “it is not my fault” - and we begin to feel sorry for ourselves, when we need not be. That self-pity closes our eyes to the opportunities that await us in the new and unexpected situation.

The stubborn refusal to bend lies in our decision to see things differently. It is that image of our “opponent” celebrating its victory prematurely while we are in the background, stubbornly refusal to forfeit, heaving ourselves up. When we finally do get up what we will often see is that there really was never an “opponent”. Our expectations of how things should be created a monster that was unleashed when these expectations were left unmet.

When we step out of the illusion that life MUST be a certain way, we come out of the ring stronger, and we realise, that things happen in a way that can bring us the best opportunities, ones that we could not even have wildly dreamt up for ourselves. We get up, stubborn and undefeated, to take these opportunities, trusting that they will lead us to better things - the best things for us.

On the other hand, if we do not snap out of our disappointments, we will never see the doors that have been opened for us, even without our knocking on them.

Acting as our Highest Selves

It means recognising that we all have a power within us. It allows us to be exactly who we want to be and do exactly what we want to do. We are all made up of the four elements - water, fire, air and earth - and as such are able to call upon their qualities and strengths to assist us in all our undertakings. Water finds a way out somehow, either by oozing out of the smallest crack, or the mounting pressure it can build to burst through things. Fire will just burn its way through, air (wind) will push its way through, and the earth will create the opening itself.

We have the infinite power to come out on top of all the situations in which we find ourselves, but to use that power, we have to remain true to ourselves. If we don’t, it will elude us and we descend to the level of our egos, where fear abounds and progress is nowhere to be found. In the being of ourselves, we have to learn to walk forward without fear, and remember that if we need to, we can embody and use the qualities of water, air, fire and the earth, to assist us.

Let us commit to not letting our fears hold us back from getting what we want today. It may not happen in the way that we had imagined, but we can make it happen by refusing defeat and using the powers that are within us as human beings, the highest of all creations, to create the lives we want for ourselves.

Don’t worry if it takes time. Just know that time too, no matter how long it takes, is also on our side.

Love,

OFP