Two Lies and Some Truth

Him: Babe, I’ve told you. It’s not your childlessness. It’s our childlessness. We don’t have children. Not, you don’t have children. I don’t understand why you’ve taken this burden and placed it on your shoulders like you are the only one in this. It’s so frustrating because when you do this you shut me out and act as though your suffering is greater than mine. I also want a child. As much as you do.

Her: I’m sorry I have made you feel that way, but you need to understand this is not just about you and me. Between us, we have our shared pain. And I thank God for giving me a husband who sees marriage as the partnership that you do. But the problem is everybody else.

Him: Why does anyone else matter? I’m the one you’re living with.

Her: Yes. But I’m the one that gets the look of disappointment when your family comes around. I’m the one that goes through the pain of a period each month, a consistent reminder that there is no child growing in me. I’m the one that people stare at and pity. No one looks at you and says 'in God’s time.' Everyone assumes the problem is with me.

Him: Yes, but we both know that neither of us has a problem. The Dr says we are both fine.

Her: You’re missing my point. Has anyone ever asked you if you’ve done tests? Have they insinuated that you’ve done countless abortions hence your inability to conceive ? You’re not the one that looks like damaged goods here ... so just stop trying to make it seem as though our suffering is equal. We share the intense desire to have a child, but the world looks at me and sees an empty person.

Him: I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make it seem like a competition. I was just trying to say that you don’t have to go through this alone. And that I’m here for you.

Her: Thank you.

They both pretend to sleep. They are both thinking thoughts along the same line. Both full of guilt and empty of words.

How can I tell him? She thinks
How can I tell her? He thinks

The thing is, Ada knows the problem is with Debo because she’s had a child, only he doesn’t know it.

Debo knows the problem is with Ada because he has a child, only she doesn’t know it.

They can both see the wall that their individual guilt is building between them, but neither knows what to do.

How do you tell your wife of five years that you have a seven year old child when she’s been unable to conceive ? How do you tell her you abandoned the child and her mother? Will she believe you have changed? After all these years of lying? Won’t it confirm her fears that she is truly unable to conceive?

And how do you tell your husband that you once gave a child up for adoption when you can see how much he wants a child of his own. How do you explain that you promised yourself to forget about the child and leave him in the past? Won’t telling him you have a child mean that he can’t father children ?

Debo decides to speak with his friend Femi about the whole thing. As he’s about to call and ask that they meet up, he gets a message from Femi:

“Guy how far na. Long time.”
“Nothing much bro. Was even going to message that we should catch up.”
“Lol same here. Okay come through. I’m at the usual spot. Will order some suya.”

A few hours later. Both men are laughing over their suya and drinks.

“How’s our madam”, Debo asks
Femi shrugs, “honestly, I don’t know. I’ve been avoiding her. “

“Why?

One night I was supposed to travel. Flight got cancelled and so I decided to go back home and surprise her. Took an Uber back and as we approached the house I saw her entering our neighbour’s gate.

“Ahn ahn doesn’t mean anything now bro. Maybe she went to borrow sugar or indomie”

“Same thing I thought. Even though it was already 12am. I thought well maybe she was hungry and no food at home. I left it. In fact was excited because the surprise would be better. So got home. Went inside and waited for her. 1am nothing. 2am nothing. Called her phone. No answer...
She came back to the house at 7am my guy. I didn’t sleep the whole night.”

“Wow, so what now happened?”

“ The look on her face said it all when she opened the door and saw me sitting on the couch. I hadn’t even bothered taking my bags up. It’s like she knew I knew. The guilt was palpable. Unfortunately she’s a terrible liar. She knows it. She couldn’t say a word. Basically she was speechless.”

“Wow, wow wow.”

“ I also didn’t know what to say to her. So I just stared at her and said nothing. Packed some stuff and I moved out. She’s been calling me since. I’m not sure how she’s going to explain why she left the house to go to the neighbour’s house at 12am and came back home at 7am the next morning. I don’t know what to do. The betrayal is much.”

“Mehn Femi I’m very sorry to hear that. Maybe just hear what she has to say. There might be some explanation. As weird as it sounds. Isn’t your neighbour himself married?”

“Yes but his wife is away with their son for a few weeks. They went to see her mother.”

“Chai. Still. I say you talk to her. You’re my bro and all, but we both know you haven’t been the most faithful to her either. “

“So?”

“So I get that you’re hurt. But I’m also saying maybe don’t be hypocritical. I mean if I’m not mistaken Femi, on that trip you were off to see another babe...”

“Whose side are you on?”

“Yours man. Which is why I’m asking you to be honest with yourself. You can’t have been doing all this and then now start sulking cus you think your wife might have been doing the same. You haven’t even heard what she has to say. She may not even have done anything.”

“ Debo it’s like you’re naive and foolish. Anyways you’re not helping my matter. The point is that I don’t know what to do.”

“I’ve told you. Be open. Communicate. Hear her out first. Things may not be what they seem to be. The worst case is that she did cheat and the best is that she didn’t. Either way look for the truth and stop torturing yourself. Also maybe it’s good to have a taste of your own medicine for once.”

“Come on. I’m a man. I have needs”

“She doesn’t?”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“I know what you mean. You’re thinking only of yourself. Anyways let me go and meet my own wife. We have our own talking to do. I advise you stop being a hypocrite and go and talk to yours. It’s clear that you both need to heal from something or the other.”

“Mehn thanks for nothing. You just came to turn this around on me.”

“My pleasure.”

Femi lingers there a bit longer. He thinks about all the times he hurt his wife. Even then, he doesn’t know if he can forgive her. Still, he picks up his phone and dials.

“We need to talk.”


Debo gets home, ready to come clean to Ada. The chat with Femi made him realise he needed to be honest and accept the consequences of his secret. He opens their bedroom door and finds his wife crying. She has a pregnancy test in her hands. He fears the worst.

“Debo”, she says between sobs
“Oh babe. I’m so so-“

“I’m pregnant...”