Why Me?

This post is inspired by my older sister, who got what she wanted. I pray that we will all get what we truly desire in this life. Amen

Why me?

We ask this question in our thoughts, words and deeds.

Why me?

I am not better than persons one through ten. Persons one through ten are better at ABC than I am. I believe ABC is what is required to get what I want. I haven't got ABC, at least not on the levels that persons one to ten do. So, why me?

What we don't understand, is that the very fact of our desire for that thing/position/person is enough of a reason to answer that question.

It is not useful to list all the reasons that we cannot, or should not get what we want. It is more productive to give the question more meaning, and understand for ourselves, why it is we want or aspire to something.

In answering that question, it is best if we do not look externally, to our left or our right, but within ourselves. Why? because we know ourselves more than we know anybody else. We only think that we know about others, but in reality we have no idea.

We also tend to ask, "why not her/him instead of me?" It is, quite frankly, none of our business; an answer we can never fully know. So it is better to look to ourselves, the things that bring us joy, the situations that bring out the best in us and the fact that we are unique individuals. There is no one like you and for that very fact, the answer to that question- "why me?"- becomes limitless. However, we must be true to ourselves and be discerning enough to hear the difference between asking why we want something, and listing out the reasons we shouldn’t get it.

It is not that we should never question that something is not suitable for us, but it is best not to do it by comparing ourselves to others. An example:

Tinu wants to get on the track team. In answering "why me?" - she says, she wants it, she will meet great people and be part of a community, which is something she really desires to do. She loves the exhilaration that comes with track and the great body too. However, she also tries to think about why it may not be the best for her, but instead of sticking to the things relating to her- maybe it doesn't fit her schedule and there is no way she can make time out, or maybe she's able to see that she's only doing it because her Friend Funke wants to etc, she gives reasons that are outside of her concern- Mary is faster/stronger/more experienced than me. What does Mary have to do with Tinu? 

N O T H I N G!

If Tinu is honest with herself in answering figuring out why joining the track team may not be the best option for her, she will either find out that she really doesn't want to, as the cons outweigh any pros she listed in her  answers to"why me?" , at which point the desire goes away to make room in her thoughts for other things. Or, she finds, she can't find any reason that she should not participate, and goes for it with all her effort and with no fear of the outcome.

That’s the key; there is a difference between doing something and being very doubtful of yourself (we all do it, so no shade) and doing something with the mindset that you are going to get what you want no matter what and no matter when.

Even if Tinu does not get in this time, it shouldn't make it any less of a desire, but instead, an indication that she has more work to do to be able to fully participate in the team and get the full benefits of it. It has nothing to do with Mary and all the appearances that she is a better athlete, but all to do with Tinu working towards getting her desires, till they are met. That Tinu is not part of the track team today, does not mean her desire will not be fulfilled. It only means that the time isn't right for her, at that moment. 

That's another thing that we do. We limit ourselves with time. I want now. But often, when we say we want now, we hardly ever correctly assess if now is the right time for us to get that thing. At the end of the day, it all goes back to being honest with Self. Introspection and less external influences are important.

How do you really feel about this? 

Are you at total peace with it? 

It is not so straightforward and something we need to get better at doing- discerning the truth about ourselves, with no value judgements!

The Truth is the Truth. It is neither good nor bad, it is just the Truth.

Love,

O.F.P